Only a Thousand Times

I'd played it in my head,

A thousand times over -

The fiery clash would ensue,

Words would flow

Like a cascading stream

And with every spoken word,

It'd be easy to let it go.

I'd played it in my head,

A thousand times over,

Even still,

Whispers barely escaped my lips,

I set free the unsaid

With tears cascading down my cheeks.

It's not easy to just let it go.

I'd played it in my head,

A thousand times over,

I've contemplated it

Ten thousand times over,

I'm not going to let it go.

Now I'll play it in my head,

Only a million times over -

It'll be a seething stand-off,

I'll finally have mustered the courage

To say 'Fuck You' to their face,

Unflinching, with a steady steeled gaze

And unmoistened cheeks.

Until then,

I'll play it in my head,

A thousand times over

In the hushed silence,

The broken bond I'll cover.